2008 Demcratic National Convention Schedule

Perhaps a bit premature, but I thought it was worth posting anyway:

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship led by Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank and Rosie O'Donnell presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally led by Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "The proper etiquette for surrender," by French President Jacques Chirac
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay, read by Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. "Why I hate the Military," a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers," a dissertation by Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham-Clinton for president by Mahmoud Ahmedinijad, seconded by Kim Jung Il.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents the internet.
11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War criminals," a speech by John Kerry.
11:30 P.M. Coronation of Mrs. Rodham-Clinton.
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.