Saturday, November 01, 2008

A little lesson in manners

So, I survived my first Hallowe'en in the new neighborhood. But, here are a few suggestions for you trick or treaters who are already looking forward to next year:

1. You should be accompanied by a parent or other responsible adult. If this cramps your style too much, then you're probably too old to be participating.

2. Ring the doorbell once, only once. (Or, knock politely, do not bang on doors until the window panes shudder throughout the structure of the house.)

3. You are expected to say "Trick or Treat," "Happy Hallowe'en," or "Thank you." Pick at least one.

4. You should be wearing a costume, even if you have to make it yourself like yours truly had to do. Walking around in the clothes you plan to wear clubbing later in the evening is just not in the spirit of the holiday, nor is your failure to interrupt your cell phone conversation long enought to acknowledge those who answer their doors to you with the customary greetings enumerated in #3 above.

5. If offered your choice from a bowl of candy, take two or three pieces. Grabbing handful after handful is extremely bad form, especially if you're wearing an Obama mask. It's just a bad example of all the money-grabbing in the guise of taxation and redistribution of wealth promises that are looming on our collective horizon.

6. The holiday ends promptly at 8:59pm. (Or, sooner, if Mr. Barack Grabby Hands has already walked off with all the candy.) This moment should be readily apparent to even the most casual observer, but let the lack of a front porch light being on serve as the rule of thumb.

Emily Post must've been rolling in her grave last night . . . which is appropriate, I guess . . .

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