Captive audience

None of us like to be cornered, am I right?

Least of all in a "conversation."

I found myself in that position today, and just hated it.

I mean, I literally had no means of extricating myself from the situation.

What amazes me is that it never dawns on the "cornerer" that they are engaging in self-defeating behavior.

I mean, how can they possibly think what they're doing is going to be worthwhile in the long run?

When you corner someone in a conversation, they're pretty much going to tell you what you want to hear until you give them a way out.

So, why bother?

Even if it makes you feel good at the time, it ain't going to last.

Just trust me on that one.

How sick is this?!

Ye socks who have been checking this dryer for a while now know that my father passed away last March.

Well, recently, somebody went to visit his final resting place and left a personal letter for the family at his marker because they didn't have our mailing address.

"Somebody" came across this letter before we did, though. They opened it, took the letter, and put the empty envelope back on Dad's marker. Creepy, huh?

But, ye know how much yours truly enjoys solving a good mystery. And, I've gotten pretty good at it with all the practice I've had over the years.

Anyway, just so that "somebody" knows, we were able to make contact with the person who left the letter. We now know its contents and why you saw fit to leave only an empty envelope.

Trust me, though, none of it was surprising. It fits into your known pattern of behavior of doing creepy things like stealing letters off grave markers.

Just sick.

Estate Sale Find

You socks who've known me for any length of time have no doubt heard me railing about the "missing" chest of drawers.

I don't want to go into the whole story, because I'd pretty much put the whole incident behind me and resigned myself to living without it.

So, imagine my surprise this afternoon when I was asked to help a friend load a truck of furniture at a local estate sale and found a replacement just sitting there, neglected in a corner of this musty old house.

I had to rescue it.

Now, I just have to figure where the heck to put it.

We should all have this as our biggest worry, no?

Myth vs. Reality

It really irritates me when history is purposely distorted, or downright fictionalized.

Case in point, "Chief Seattle's Letter."

I am not going to waste my socks' time regurgitating the drivel I'm sure you've probably already seen. I'm sure you know the diatribe I'm talking about. It's the one that glorifies AmerIndian traditions at the expense of Judeo-Christian values and culture, ending with the trite phrase, "We are all brothers."

Whatever. I mean, if you're "in" to drinking that Kool-Aid, go ahead. But, at least have the decency not to bastardize history in the process.

The FACT of the matter is that Seattle was never so eloquent. The so-called "letter" was actually lifted from a screenplay written by a New York City drama teacher named Ted Perry in the early 1970s. He, incidentally, is mortified that his work of FICTION has been passed-off as truth by others, and has spent a lot of time trying to set the record straight.

But, it's an uphill battle, mostly because those who pervert our history in the name of ecology and secular humanism have seen fit to reprint it ad nauseum on t-shirts, postcards, websites, etc. It has even been quoted (unwittingly, I hope) in the works of the late Joseph Campbell and the former President George H.W. Bush.

So, my plea to ye socks in the dryer is, when you hear something you know is a bunch of malarkey, stand up for the truth! And, if confronted by this particular example of buffoonery, tell the purveyors that Chief Seattle was a confirmed Roman Catholic, converted by French missionaries, and saw to it that his entire tribe attended regular Mass and joined together in prayer every morning and every evening. The chief accepted Jesus Christ as his savior, acknowledged His virgin birth, and knew God as the Blessed Trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He didn't worship twigs and branches or pray to rocks.

Would that some others would follow his TRUE example.

Real laws in the State of Florida

We Floridians catch a lot of flack from folks in the other 49 states for being a little flaky, especially since the 2000 presidential election confusion.

But, perhaps, it is deserved. I mean, where else but Florida are the following laws actually on the books?!?

1. No adult male shall wear a strapless dress in public. (In private, I assume, we can still be as freaky as we want to be . . . and dresses with straps are okay anywhere, right?!?)

2. If you tie your elephant to a parking meter, you will be expected to pay the same fees as if you had parked an automobile in the spot. (Really, how often does this happen?!)

3. It is illegal to load livestock onto a schoolbus. (I guess all those kids in FFA will have to come up with an alternative method of transporting their class projects . . .)

4. Fishing while driving across a bridge is strictly prohibited. (But, here's the loophole: There is no penalty for fishing while riding as a passenger in a moving vehicle!!!!)

I love this state!

Choosing Wisdom

Something I've learned during my finite time on this planet: Some of the worst decisions you will make will be the result of emotion or excitement. They'll make you feel good quick, but not in the long run. On the other hand, some of the best decisions you will make will come only after thoughtful consideration. They may make you wait for the "big pay-off," but they will be worth the wait.

I think they call the latter "wisdom."