The new definition of liquidity for today's economy

Li-qui'-di-ty (n) - What happens in your pants when you realize how much month is left at the end of the money.

I know. Lame. But, at least I'm off my soapbox for a day.

Love is . . .

This one just cracked me up, so thought I'd share it with ye socks:

"Love does NOT mean never having to say you're sorry. It means having to say you're sorry over and over and over again, in new and different ways, every day, every week, every month, even when you don't want to, every year until God grants you His mercy and you finally, blissfully, die."

A little over the top, especially there towards the end. But, the overall sentiment is spot on, don't ya think?

No?

Oh. OK, then. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it . . .

The smartest woman in America?!

Hillary Clinton's private jet broke down at a rural airport while she was criss-crossing the country in her campaign to become our next president.

Fortunately, she ran across a friendly pilot and his ten-year-old daughter who were preparing to take-off on a trip of their own and offered her a free seat on their plane.

Unfortunately, the plane's engine blew somewhere over the Great Plains, and the worried pilot had to inform his daughter and passenger that he only had two parachutes on board.

"Well," announced Mrs. Clinton, "I have to use one of them. I mean, not only am I the wife of the illustrious Bill Clinton, I'm also a sitting U.S. Senator from the great state of New York. And, because I am quite possibly the smartest woman in America, in a matter of just a few months, I am going to be the next President of the United States!"

With that, Hillary grabbed the nearest pack, opened the door, and jumped out of the plane.

The pilot looked at his daughter and said, "Go, ahead, honey, take the other 'chute and save yourself."

"Are you kidding?!" She replied, "I'm not jumping without you!"

"You have to, honey," he told her. "There's only one 'chute left."

"No, there's still two," she informed him. "The smartest woman in America was in such a hurry to get outta here, she grabbed my bookbag!"