Let's mic Joe, 24/7!

This is a family friendly dryer, ye socks.

So, yours truly will not quote our illustrious vice president's recent characterization of the ObamaNation's stealth scare scheme.

Rather, let us harken back to a day when the English language didn't always get boiled down to four-letter words.

I mean, you might have to exercise ye olde noggin, but you can craft some pretty artful and witty statements if you try.

For example, here are a few of my favorite zingers, none of which employ foul language. Feel free to co-opt them for your own use(s):

"He has delusions of adequacy," said Walter Kerr. [Could definitely be applied to a large proportion of the current "leadership" of this country, no?!]

"He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire," said Sir Winston Churchill. [Wow, didn't know he had a chance to meet Joe!]

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends," said Oscar Wilde. [Especially when he uses potty language?!]

"He loves nature, in spite of what it did to him," said Forrest Tucker. [Ouch, that had to hurt!]

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork," said Mae West. [Or, at least washed his mouth out with soap, in this case!]

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know," said Abraham Lincoln. [Wow, did he know Joe's boss?!]

A coupla billion here, a coupla billion there . . .

Confession: yours truly avoids Orlando International Airport like the plague.

Until this afternoon, I don't think I'd set foot on the property in years.

And, my aversion to air travel isn't the only reason.

Just driving down there to pick someone up means taking your life into your hands.

Seriously, who were the traffic engineers that designed that piffle and nonsense?!?

Anyway, it seems that our illustrious commander-in-chief is bent on making OIA an even more interesting place to visit.

He and his second banana were down in Tampa this fine day to announce they are going to spend billions of our tax dollars to connect that city to our own. One of the terminals will be at OIA. Great.

I guess this is supposed to make up for the billions they are apparently going to cut from the NASA budget. Sounds like a great big ponzi scheme to me . . . one that's going to displace a lot of Central Florida workers.

Hope and change!

Gustav: The storm that wasn't

I suppose if Gustav had received a more appropriate level of preparation, the hand-wringing crowd and their "mainstream" media cohorts would have accused President Bush of being an uncaring cad like they did back in 2005.

And, they would have tried to link all Republicans to that aspersion.

Fortunately, they failed.

But, all the evacuations, etc., proved to be a gross overreaction.

I suppose we should feel relieved about it, but I'm more peeved than anything else.

It got me thinking about that old Shakespeare comedy "Much Ado About Nothing."

What parallels may be drawn there? I knew ye socks would ask that question, so here's my feeble attempt.

I would cast John McCain and Sarah Palin in the roles of Benedick and Beatrice, who are kept apart by a bunch of foolishness until the very end of the play. Finally, though, they come together in an impromptu celebration. News reaches them of the capture of the dastardly Don Juan (played, of course, by the junior senator from Illinois). But, they don't let it ruin their day, choosing instead to continue enjoying themselves as planned and put off the villain's prosecution
for a more opportune moment.

Not sure what roles should be assigned to Joe Biden, Cindy McCain, or the Clintons. I'll leave that up to you!

And the #2 spot goes to . . .

One of the perils of selecting a runningmate from a pool of former rivals is that there are going to be plenty of critical quotes available.



Remember George Bush's accusation of "voodoo economics" back in 1980?



Well, here we go again . . .



I hope the presumptive Republican nominee has learned that lesson and there is less of this nonsense I've been hearing lately about Mitt Romney.