Let's mic Joe, 24/7!

This is a family friendly dryer, ye socks.

So, yours truly will not quote our illustrious vice president's recent characterization of the ObamaNation's stealth scare scheme.

Rather, let us harken back to a day when the English language didn't always get boiled down to four-letter words.

I mean, you might have to exercise ye olde noggin, but you can craft some pretty artful and witty statements if you try.

For example, here are a few of my favorite zingers, none of which employ foul language. Feel free to co-opt them for your own use(s):

"He has delusions of adequacy," said Walter Kerr. [Could definitely be applied to a large proportion of the current "leadership" of this country, no?!]

"He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire," said Sir Winston Churchill. [Wow, didn't know he had a chance to meet Joe!]

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends," said Oscar Wilde. [Especially when he uses potty language?!]

"He loves nature, in spite of what it did to him," said Forrest Tucker. [Ouch, that had to hurt!]

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork," said Mae West. [Or, at least washed his mouth out with soap, in this case!]

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know," said Abraham Lincoln. [Wow, did he know Joe's boss?!]

The ObamaNation's New Chief Economist?!

If this brilliant mind didn't already move to DC on January 20th, someone in the White House needs to dispatch Air Force One out to Santa Cruz right away!

Tina Fey could have a new career!

I had no Gator game to watch this weekend. So, restless as that left me on this fine Saturday, I was able to stay up late enough to catch the season premiere of SNL.

I must confess that the show has lost its shine for me in recent years.

Of course, that probably has something to do with being out of college and a near elimination of beer consumption.

Most of the show still comes off as sophomoric to me. But, tonight's opening skit really had me laughing.

It featured Tina Fey as VP nominee Sarah Palin, and Amy Poehler as the woman who should have been the Democratic presidential nominee.

Now, Poehler is leaving at the end of the season. Apparently, there won't be much need for her impersonation of the junior senator from New York in the near term.

However, if things go well for the Republican ticket this Fall, I believe Fey will have at least four good years of impersonating Palin.

I'd been saying for weeks that there was a physical resemblance between these two very attractive women.

But, Fey deserves a lot of credit for picking up a pretty good Palin-esque accent along with some of the Alaska governor's podium mannerisms. I can only imagine how good both the comedienne and her muse will get with practice.

That alone should be enough to get you undecided voters off the fence and behind the GOP bandwagon!

The miserable loafer and his prostitute wife

No, that headline does NOT refer to our illustrious former president and the ambitious junior senator from the great state of New York.

Rather, it refers to a hillarious census enumeration I stumbled across in my ancestral peregrinations.

I know, I know. Some of ye socks scold me for too many family history posts. It's not your cup of tea, or whatever.

But, this one has cross-over appeal.

In case you're unfamiliar with these old records, the census taker had to collect all kinds of information on everybody in town.

Well, back in 1880, the person who collected this sort of info in Flint, Michigan, was either an aspiring comedian or a very judgemental person.

Click on the image above, and take a good look at the occupations listed for everyone in this household on Saginaw Street.

If it doesn't make you laugh, then you're missing a funnybone somewhere!

Cow Kapow!

A long time ago, I posted a link to a funny little game that let you whack a penguin. Well, now there's a new version that let's you whack a cow. Same general principal, but I scored a 542 on this one:

http://games.cublo.com/flyingcow/flyingcow.swf

See if you can beat that!