Left Behind: The Movie

Disclaimer: Yours truly does not buy-in to the whole millenialist hoopla that has fueled the last few decades of pulp fiction.

So, I was fully prepared to suspend reality for the hour and a half or so that it was going to take to watch the latest DVD selection by our friends at Netflix.

Kinda like what I had to do to watch adaptations of Dan Brown's DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons.

But, this flick (released in 2001) apparently lacked the budget of those aforementioned bits of fiction. The special effects weren't even laugh-worthy, provoking only cringes around this little corner of heaven.

And, whereas Brown's works were brought to life by superstar Tom Hanks, the poorly-written dialogue in this film was delivered by a cast led by 80s teen icon Kirk Cameron.

Bottom line: If you must entertain such notions, pick up one of the books and skip the film version.

Standing Still

That's the title of the worst piece of garbage Blockbuster has ever sent me for home viewing.

The premise sounds fairly interesting, but don't let it deceive you.

A group of college friends reunite for a wedding.

So far, so good.

Well, how many twenty-somethings do you know that own their own mansion capable of sleeping a dozen people?

Or, have access to a private jet that can whisk them away to Vegas for the evening?

Or, who would have a wedding and not invite any relatives, just their college clique?

What tripe!

Beyond the unbelievable scenario spun by the out-of-touch script, the acting was horrible.

Particularly offensive were that guy from Dawson's Creek, whose character was perpetually drunk; and Tom Hank's baby-faced son who had to spew an inordinate amount of profanities in his desperate (and ultimately failed) attempt to appear as if he belonged in the same age group as the rest of the cast.

If you have it on your list of movies to see, delete it now. Life is too precious to waste time on piffle like this!