This isn't your mother's Wonderland

I suppose that should have been a given with Tim Burton directing the latest version of Lewis Carroll's classic "Alice in Wonderland."

Edgy, at least for what should be a kids movie.

I don't know how many little kids I'd let watch this without some reassuring supervision.

But, it's a visual feast that any adult will appreciate.

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts are particularly eye-grabbing.

This makes up for the rather ho-hum adaptation.

The only truly disappointing part of this film was the ending, which leaves the female protagonist becoming a merchant.

That's right, a merchant. Exciting, no?

Bottom line: Worth watching, especially if you know someone named Alice who you can tease about it later . . .

Land of the Lost

So, tonight's selection from our friends at Netflix was the recent Will Ferrell flick "Land of the Lost."

Let me preface what I'm about to say with the assurance to ye socks that I generally appreciate Ferrell's humor.

But, this film serves only to prove that one should never attempt to mix comedy and science fiction.

It just doesn't work, at least not in this household.

If Mel Brooks couldn't pull it off in "Space Balls," no one can.

Not even the incredibly funny Will Ferrell.

There is a reason why this movie was such a flop at the box office, folks.

Bottom line: skip it.

Away We Go

That's the title of the latest selection from our friends at Netflix.

What else is there to do on a Friday night than to sit at home and watch a DVD, right? Gotta love this recession . . .

Anyway, this flick centers on a couple who are expecting the birth of their first child. The baby-daddy is played by John Krasinski, the tall goofy guy from "The Office." The expectant mother is played by Maya Rudolph, of SNL fame.

Sidebar. Two pieces of trivia on Ms. Rudolph that make me like her: 1. She was born in Gainesville, Florida (GO GATORS!); 2. Her mom was Minnie Riperton, the lady who hit the high notes in that old soul song "Lovin' You."

Ok, back on track, now.

So, this couple finds out that the paternal grandparents (Catherine O'Hara and Jeff Daniels) are flaking-out and moving to Antwerp at the last minute. That gets them to thinking they should consider moving somewhere new themselves. So, the film follows them all over North America in the quest for a nest.

First stop: Tucson, Arizona. There they quickly learn they do not want to live anywhere near a former co-worker and her husband (hillariously played by Allison Janney and Jim Gaffigan).

Second stop: Madison, Wisconsin. There they discover a cousin (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) has grown up to become an insufferable militant neo-hippie. Scratch cheeseland off the list.

Third stop: Montreal, Canada. Here they actually have a pretty good time with old college buddies, and seriously consider moving to the great white north. But, then they get a call from the baby-daddy's brother . . .

Fourth stop: Miami, Florida. They find baby-daddy's sister-in-law has left the nest. A bunch of interpersonal issues fly around, centered on a trampouline in the backyard.

Final stop: . . . . wait, I'm not going to give away the ending! Watch it yourself!

Bottom line: Until the economy turns around, this'll do for a Friday night.

Into the Storm

The latest DVD selection from our friends at Netflix was this WWII biopic of British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill.

Not necessarily one I would have chosen myself, but I gave it a shot since the leading role won Brendan Gleeson an Emmy Award.

And, with a Gleeson in the film, how bad could it be, right?!

Basically, every American's favorite Brit is in France in the days immediately after the war . . . waiting in dread for the 1945 election results that would throw him out of office.

Through a series of flashbacks, the audience learns what brought him to that point . . . and, on a more personal level, what brought his marriage to the brink of failure.

The great thing about Churchill's story is that both his marriage and his political career survived the calamity of 1945. Indeed they both rebounded rather nicely.

But, this film doesn't let the audience know that.

It does, however, quite accurately portray FDR as a socialist suck-up to Stalin. For that reason alone, it should be shown to every high school student in America.

Bottom line: If you're a history buff, you'll probably like it.

Left Behind: The Movie

Disclaimer: Yours truly does not buy-in to the whole millenialist hoopla that has fueled the last few decades of pulp fiction.

So, I was fully prepared to suspend reality for the hour and a half or so that it was going to take to watch the latest DVD selection by our friends at Netflix.

Kinda like what I had to do to watch adaptations of Dan Brown's DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons.

But, this flick (released in 2001) apparently lacked the budget of those aforementioned bits of fiction. The special effects weren't even laugh-worthy, provoking only cringes around this little corner of heaven.

And, whereas Brown's works were brought to life by superstar Tom Hanks, the poorly-written dialogue in this film was delivered by a cast led by 80s teen icon Kirk Cameron.

Bottom line: If you must entertain such notions, pick up one of the books and skip the film version.

The Lovely Bones

So often, yours truly will remark, "The book was better than the movie." But, ye socks won't hear me make such an utterance in this case.

I suppose, one cannot make a more subjective statement concerning the latest DVD selection from our friends at Netflix.

But, words alone could not have conjured a more chilling character than the one portrayed by Stanley Tucci in this 2009 adaptation of the 2002 novel of the same name.

Indeed, the whole cast does a frighteningly good job of retelling the story of a serial killer from the perspective of one of his victims: a 14-year-old girl from Norristown, Pennsylvania. Particularly good are Mark Wahlberg (who plays her father) and Susan Sarandon (who plays her chainsmoking grandmother).

Bottom line: Disturbing, yes. But, worth watching.

The Blind Side

Yours truly just finished watching the blockbuster hit movie by that name, courtesy of our friends at Netflix.

The biopic is based on the true-life story of NFL great Michael Oher, who was adopted by the Tuohy family of Memphis, Tennessee.

To be sure, this is a feel-good film. It should be, given the source material and the great cast. The latter includes Quinton Aaron as Oher, Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw as his adoptive parents, and Kathy Bates as his tutor. (It also features cameo appearances by a host of current and former SEC coaches who shall remain nameless here, because none has as yet coached at THE University of Florida.)

But, after watching it, I was not nearly as impressed with Bullock's performance as the Academy was when it awarded her with an Oscar. As a Southerner, I just didn't buy her character's accent. (It wasn't nearly as convincing as Meryl Streep's contemporary conjuring of Julia Child's regional inflections.)

Bottom line: suitable for family movie night, but a little overblown.

Leap Year

That's the title of the latest DVD selection that arrived in this little corner of heaven, courtesy of our friends at Netflix.

It refers to an old Irish tradition whereby a woman is "allowed" to propose marriage on February 29th.

The film follows an even OLDER chick-flick formula.

It "stars" Matthew Goode and the very-fetching Amy Adams. John Lithgow also appears briefly as Adams' hapless father. Unfortunately, none of these capable actors are capable of redeeming this film.

Frankly, the best attempts at comedy consist of a series of lame sight gags. And, the stereotypical portrayal of the Irish "supporting" characters was nothing short of offensive.

Honestly, the only way to enjoy this piffle was to ignore what the people on the screen were doing and try instead to soak in the images of rural Ireland that serve as a backdrop for much of the film.

Bottom line: If you must rent it, consider clicking the "mute" button.

Crazy Heart

That's the title of the latest DVD selection that arrived in this little corner of heaven from our friends at Netflix.

Jeff Bridges earned an Oscar for his leading role as a washed-up musician in search of redemption. (And, he actually deserved the award, unlike other recent winners.)

He is supported by other big names like Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell, and Robert Duvall.

Warning, this film will take ye socks down the dark descent to "rock bottom" that an alcoholic must find before aforementioned redemption may be found.

It is very "real" in that regard.

It is even more "real" in that the redemption Bridges' character thought he would find is not at all what he had envisioned.

Bottom line: probably not the best choice for family movie night, but worth the journey.

Elementary, indeed!

Yours truly just finished watching the latest DVD selection forwarded to this little corner of heaven by the friendly folks at Netflix: "Sherlock Holmes."

This is not the stodgy "Masterpiece Theatre" interpretation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stodgier sleuthing series.

Rather, this is the more recent interpretation featuring Robert Downey, Jr., in the title role and Jude Law as Dr. Watson.

It has something for everyone. Cohesive storyline. Lots of action. Witty dialogue. A good-looking leading lady. A dastardly villain. Cool scenery/costumes. And, most importantly, sets the audience up for an inevitable sequel.

Bottom line: rent it, you won't regret it.

Read the book first!

So, the latest DVD delivered to this little corner of heaven by the friendly folks at Netflix was the adaptation of Audrey Niffenegger's recent best-selling novel "The Time Traveler's Wife."

I read the book about a year ago or so, and enjoyed it. Not only did it have an interesting premise, but it made a pretty powerful statement about the eternal nature of certain interpersonal relations.

Too heavy for ye socks?

Well, the movie version isn't heavy at all.

In fact, I would guess that anyone who hadn't read the book in advance would think the film adaptation is more than a bit contrived.

Bottom line: if you're gonna watch the movie, read the book first.

Everybody's Fine

That's the title of the latest selection brought to this little corner of heaven by the friendly folks at Netflix.

Yours truly figured it couldn't be half bad, especially given the all-star cast. It includes Robert DeNiro, Drew Barrymore, and Kate Beckinsale.

More importantly, it has a good premise that allows for great character development. And, that's a fairly rare commodity in this era of special effects and computer-generated piffle and nonsense.

Basically, a recently-widowed father plans to have his 4 adult children visit for the weekend. But, they all back out at the last minute. So, he takes it upon himself to travel across the country to visit each of them.

I won't ruin the cinematic experience for ye socks by revealing what he discovered in the process.

Bottom line: worth the rental.

Get unplugged!

After watching Bruce Willis' recent release "Surrogates" on DVD (thanks be to our friends at Netflix), allow yours truly to encourage ye socks to get back to reality.

Power-down the computer.

Put down the iphone.

And, yes, step away from the boob tube.

The "futuristic" view of our society portrayed in this flick was more than a little disturbing, because we're really not that far away from the day when these little devices become our primary means of human interaction.

Kinda scary.

This I point out in the form of a blog post?!

Did you hear about the Morgans?

No, I'm not about to regale ye socks with tales from a recent family reunion.

Believe me, said tales would be much more interesting than the recent flick bearing that title.

To call the movie "predictable" would be too kind. Cliche after cliche played out to its foregone conclusion as the at-odds couple from the big city found themselves unwillingly transplanted in America's heartland. Familiar with the formula?!

Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are unwatchable in their "leading" roles.

In fact the film would have been better if it focused instead on the supporting roles played by Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen.

Bottom line: Skip it, or prepare for a nap.

Katyn

How quickly we forget.

There were many reasons why Ronald Reagan was correct in labeling the former Soviet Union as "The Evil Empire."

Recent events in Poland have brought one particularly heinous incident back to light.

Somewhat eerily, yours truly found a DVD waiting in the snail mail box this weekend that dramatized the Katyn massacre. (I hadn't added it to my queue, yet it just happened to arrive on its own?!)

Heads-up. This film was shot in Poland. In Polish. So, you have to get used to the subtitles.

But, it's worth the effort.

If, like yours truly, ye were completely ignorant of this sad chapter in WWII history, this film by Andrzeja Wajdy brings it (more than somewhat disturbingly) back to life.

Where is THAT button on my remote?!

Couldn't seem to find the "dislike" button while I suffered thru two DVD's this otherwise fine Saturday afternoon.

But, why should the home movie system provide any more options than ye olde Facebook page?!

If yours truly was properly empowered, there would have been TWO big thumbs down on the selections our friends at Netflix deposited in the snail mail box in this little corner of heaven.

They apparently have me confused with someone else on the block, perhaps someone with a 16 year old daughter and an angst-ridden younger child . . . the only explanation I could come up with for why "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" and "Where the Wild Things Are" arrived at this address.

New Moon was the typical piffle and nonsense one would expect in a teen flick. But, whereas I was able to sit thru the entirety of the first installment, this sequal was so bad that I found myself reading a book and looking up at the screen on those rare occasions when it sounded like there might be some special effects worth seeing.

I was actually prepared to like WTWTA, if for no other reason than it was not an overbilled saga installment. I half-remembered enjoying the story in preschool, but that was a LONG time ago. Apparently, ye olde memory fails. Or, perhaps this was a poor adaptation. I'm inclined to believe the latter. Definitely not a "kids movie."

Bottom line, if either of these two flicks end up in YOUR in box, promptly re-seal them in the conveniently-supplied return envelope as quickly as possible to avoid wasting hours of disappointment.

The Apostle

Don't know where I was back in 1997 when this movie was originally released, but it didn't hit ye olde radar til there wasn't anything to watch on tv last night.

In fact, I almost didn't watch it this go 'round, either. Considered just calling it an early one and heading off to bed.

Glad I reconsidered.

In fact, I was pleasantly surprised at the ecumenical spirit I found in this story about a Pentecostal preacher. (Best example being the title character's remark on observing Roman Catholic priests blessing a fleet of shrimp boats: "You do it your way and I do it mine, but we get it done, don't we?!")

Robert Duvall, who plays the title character, is arguably the most under-rated character actor of his generation. Over the years, I've enjoyed watching him even in movies that I didn't like. But, this time around, he also deserves credit for writing and directing. "The Apostle" is his masterpiece.

I would encourage ye socks to rent this one, or try to catch it on late night cable some time. And, see how many other actors you can recognize in this cast. (They include Billy Bob Thornton and the two late great ladies Farrah Fawcett and June Carter Cash.)

Bottom line: two thumbs up!

A rainy day and two bad movies

After enjoying a 79-degree first day of Spring yesterday, this little corner of heaven played host to some nasty rain this Sunday.

Perfect weather for staying inside and catching up on what the nice folks at Netflix had on tap, no?

No!

The first piece of piffle and nonsense was "Home," starring Marcia Gay Harden. Set in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania (Amish country) in 1969, you'd think the scenery alone would make it at least tolerable. But, it wasn't.

Instead, it was a disjointed mish-mosh of scenes spliced together with some shallow poetry (but no real plot).

I eventually had to hit the eject button. Never finished watching it.

The second waste of my time was "21 Grams," starring Sean Penn, Naomi Watts, and Benicio del Toro. With that kinda "star power," I figured it would at least be able to hold my attention until the credits began to roll . . . well, I guess it succeeded in doing that. But, just barely.

This was another disjointed mish-mosh of scenes. But, at least it had a plot. I just had to figure out which scene came first chronologically, etc. . . . way too much work for a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Perhaps, I am just "too linear" in my thought processes. I expect stories to have a beginning, a middle, and a conclusion . . . not to mention a point.

Bottom line: skip "Home" and "21 Grams."

Night at the Museum 2

Tonight's featured entertainment in this little corner of heaven was sponsored by our good friends over at Netflix.

And, it proved that sequels can indeed be as good as the original . . . sometimes.

OK, OK, I know the original "Night at the Musuem" was hardly an Oscar contender . . . more like the non-thinking man's National Treasure . . . which, I suppose was the non-thinking man's Da Vinci Code . . . whatever that means.

Anyway, if like yours truly ye socks enjoyed the first go 'round with Ben Stiller et al, you'll like this one, too. It's got enough of the good stuff from the original without overdoing it, and also manages to introduce new stuff (including a new setting and some funny new characters) without veering from the tried-and-true formula.

Oh, and it does have Amelia Earhart in it, which kinda ties in to recent postings in the dryer.

I think they call that synthesis?

Whatever.

If you don't have anything else to do on a frigid Friday free-for-all, give this one a shot!

To honor "Movie Quotes Week"

The first of ye socks to email me the list of films (in correct order) where these lines were spoken wins an autographed copy of my book "Like the Cats of Kilkenny." (Make sure to put "MOVIE LINES" in the reference of your email.)

1. Aim small, miss small.

2. May I ask what you are doing sitting at my table? I'm eating your chocolate cake!

3. Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

4. Don't mind him. He used to be an Irishman . . .

5. Their bravery is worthy of a better cause.

6. It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage!

7. Ah, dessert! Chilled monkey brains!

8. I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up.

9. Nice try, kid, but it looks like you brought a knife to a gunfight . . .

10. I am what I am . . . someone has to be!