What it means to be Irish

1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins holds political office.
4) You think you sing very well, especially after a few drinks.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short.
6) You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
7) There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
8) Much of your food is boiled.
9) You have hit your head on the ceiling.
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You're, therefore, poetic a lot.
13) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
14) Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
15) Your sister will punch you because someone punched her.
16) Your female relatives are all named Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
17) Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you. And, you prefer the term "frugal."
18) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
19) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
20) You know "Mulligan Stew" is the polite term for "boiled leftovers from the fridge."
21) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
22) There won't be a huge difference between your wake and a keg party.
23) You are, or know someone, named "Murph".
24) If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy
25) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
26) Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room or police precinct.
27) And last but not least, being Irish means... you were too drunk to notice there was no #12, and will be compelled to scroll up to verify that fact now that it's been pointed out to you!