Join in the Dance!

No, I'm not telling you how to celebrate the Magic's big victory tonight (114-89 over the Philadelphia 76ers, to advance to the 2nd round of the NBA play-offs).

Although, that would be as good a reason as any to cut a rug tonight . . .

Actually, "Join the Dance" is the name of one of the entries in this Saturday's running of the Kentucky Derby.

The horse just *happens* to be part-owned by Orlando's own Rashard Lewis. And, my theory is that was a big part of the motivation he needed to seal the deal up in Philly tonight. He didn't need the distraction of a Game 7 in this already-too-long series. He needs to be sipping mint juleps with the rest of us . . .

I suppose, though, he will be eyeing the outcome of the Celtics/Bulls series. Whoever wins in Boston on Saturday will face the Magic in round 2.

Anyway, if you're a Magic fan tonight, go ahead and dance. Lewis and the rest of the team performed amazingly well tonight despite the absences of Dwight Howard and Courtney Lee.

Howard was all elbows last night

The Orlando Magic's franchise player Dwight Howard showed up to play some basketball in last night's Game 5 of the opening round play-off series against Philadelphia.

The result was a big 91-78 win for the guys in blue and white in what Coach Van Gundy has called "the swing game" of the series.

Unfortunately, his intensity may not only land him in trouble with the NBA, it also may have injured one of his own team mates.

The trouble began when he elbowed the 76'ers center Samuel Dalembert. Even as a Magic fan, yours truly must concede it was pretty blatant. And, it was more than stupid to be so blatant when the NBA commissioner was sitting right there in the O-rena. It could very well mean that Howard will miss Game 6 on Thursday.

To make matters worse, just a couple of plays after the Dalembert incident, Howard inadvertently knocked one of his own team mates in the nose: rookie shooting guard Courtney Lee. The poor guy stumbled from the court and had to have a CT scan. Don't know what the results of that were, but Lee is now questionable for Game 6, too.

I know there have been calls right here in this dryer (and elsewhere) for the Magic to step-up their intensity in this series. Dwight Howard certainly did that last night, hanging 24 points on the scoreboard and pulling down 24 rebounds (including nearly double the number of offensive rebounds that the entire 6ers team managed). But, you can't just play hard. You've got to play smart. When you don't, people get hurt.

OK, so, lessons learned, hopefully. Let's put this series to rest so we can move on to Round 2!

Why Arlen Specter is the biggest tool in the Senate

Lest ye socks think this is just sour grapes over the illustrious senator from Pennsylvania's defection to the Democrats today, rest assured that yours truly identified him as a tool a long time ago.

Today's political theater is merely the nail in the coffin.

However, it was particularly disingenuous of Arlen "Benedict" Specter to justify his party switch with the claim that the Republicans had moved too far to the right for his liking.

Meanwhile, he'd have us believe that the Democratic party has NOT moved too far to the left?!

Puh-leez!

In all actuality, I think it's fair to conclude that Specter is simply an opportunist of the lowest order. I'm not saying he is completely lacking in the principles department, but his track record speaks for itself. He has long fluttered about in the prevailing winds, willing to sell his soul (and his vote) to whomever he thinks will give him the biggest political pay-off. Unfortunately, this has meant that he's also been willing to sell his constituents (and the rest of us) down the river in the process, saddling our children, grandchildren, and their children and grandchildren with unprecedented levels of debt.

The funniest thing about Specter's drama du jour is that he either is oblivious to the fact that he has become a tool for the ObamaNation, or he just doesn't care.

I say, "Good riddance to bad rubbish." The people of Pennsylvania can do much better, and I hope they do at the polls next year.

Okay, crawling down from the soapbox now . . .

Turk evens-up series with a 3!

For ye socks who couldn't stay up past your bedtime to watch it last night, the Magic tied up their best of 7 series with Philadelphia.

If you've followed the team much over the past season, you know the guys in blue and white are overly-depedant upon their 3 point shots.

The 6'ers figured that out early on in this series, that's for sure.

But, tonight, Hedo Turkoglu threw up a 3-ball with barely a second left on the clock to end the game with a score of 84 to 81, saving us all from the torture of overtime.

I think Rashard Lewis said it best in a post-game quip, "They did it to us twice [buzzer-beater winning shot], so it feels good to do it back!"

Now, the Magic get to bring the 2-2 series back to the O-rena (yes, I still call it that) and enjoy a little home court advantage!

Who will YOU meet in heaven?

Most folks would probably answer that question with the name of a parent or grandparent, perhaps a deceased friend or teacher.

Until today, I probably would have, too.

But, a sermon I heard this morning has made me re-evaluate my list more than Mitch Albom's book The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

That's because the question is even more profound when you turn it around. Instead of making up your list based on who you expected to be waiting on you, try to answer who you might eventually be waiting to greet.

I'll bet you not only come up with a different list, but a bigger perspective on why we're all here in this little corner of heaven . . .

Weekend movie reviews

Yep, yours truly is still trying to catch-up on his DVD viewing around this little corner of heaven. Three movies got crossed off the list this weekend. Here's what I thought of them:

* Wild Hogs - The ensemble buddy movie starring Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lewis, and William H. Macy that takes them on a cross country motorcycle run when they all find themselves going thru various versions of a midlife crisis. It also features Ray Liotta as the head of a biker gang seeking revenge against them after they burn down their bar, and Marisa Tomei as Macy's love interest. I found the whole thing to be very formulaic. But, if you're into the biker lifestyle, you may get a kick out of this one. I am not. The only thing I really enjoyed about this one was the mock Extreme Makeover:Home Edition episode that played while the end credits were rolling. Bottom line: I'm sorry if you paid good money to see this one in the theater.

* The Missing - This one was recommended to me by someone who heard I was reading a bit of pulp fiction (Thunderhead) about an Anasazi curse on the legendary lost city of gold. I suppose this 2003 film is in the same vein, particularly as it featured a Native American brujo. But, this bad guy picks the wrong young lady to kidnap for sale into white slavery in Mexico, because her mom (played by Cate Blanchett) and estranged grandfather (played by Tommy Lee Jones) pursue them. (Humorous aside: the grandfather's Indian name Chaa-duu-ba-its-iida is revealed to mean "$hit for luck"!) Aaron Eckhart is also featured, though briefly, as a ranch hand. (Between this flick and The Dark Knight, Eckhart has had to portray some pretty unfortunate characters . . .) Oh, yeah, and Ron Howard ("Opey") was the director. Bottom line: If you're as big a fan of westerns as this sock in the dryer, you will not be disappointed.

* Step Brothers - I had to see this one, not only because it reunites Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly who were so great together in Talladega Nights, but also because it seems to be the source of more than a couple inside jokes around the office . . . Bottom line: Definitely the cruder variety of slapstick comedy, and not the best pairing of these two comedians.

Well, at least Dwight's got game . . .

In just the latest example of basketball being a TEAM sport, witness the Orlando Magic's loss tonight up in Philadelphia.

Franchise player Dwight Howard brought serious game to the Wachovia Center: a playoff career high 36 points; 11 rebounds; 12 of 14 from the free throw line, etc.

But, when the rest of the team leaves everything behind in this little corner of heaven, the result is a #3 seed falling to a demoralizing 1-2 in a best of 7 series against a mediocre opponent like the 76'ers.

Once again, the difference between a win or a loss . . . or at least a shot at a win in overtime . . . came to just 2.2 seconds.

This time, the bullet to the temple came from the Sixers' forward Thaddeus Young, leaving the final scoreboard showing his team's margin of victory: 96-94.

I hate to say it, ye socks, but playoff dreams are fading fast for the home team. Let's just hope they can split the difference up in the city of brotherly love on Sunday night and bring the contest back to The City Beautiful . . .

Abaco Blue Holes

Today, ye socks, yours truly enjoyed a lunch hosted by our local Rotary Club.

The food was pretty good, but that wasn't the attraction.

The real draw was a fascinating speaker by the name of Nancy Albury, who came all the way from the Bahamas to tell us about her ongoing research into blue holes in the Abacos.

Food for the belly AND food for the brain, good combo.

Anyway, keep checking your local listings. It's my understanding that Albury's research will be featured on the National Geographic Channel in the fairly near future. When it does, I encourage you to watch it . . . then you'll be as well versed on the subject as I am now proud to be!

(Or, if you can't wait for the airing, try doing a little google search . . . go ahead . . . you know I've sparked your interest!)

Rookie works his magic in Game 2

Well, ye socks, I don't think yours truly was alone last night in thinking the hometown team was on the verge of blowing another 18-point lead in the opening round playoff series with Philadelphia.

The 76'ers had our number. They know the Magic is a laid-back team that relies a lot . . . way too much, really . . . on their 3-point game. So, they did the smart thing they did in Game 1 and double-teamed our big guns Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis.

It looked bad, especially when franchise player Dwight Howard fouled-out in the 4th quarter. Then Philly's Andre Miller hit a 3, bringing the 6'ers within 5. Turkoglu sputtered to respond, but failed.

Fortunately, Coach Van Gundy mixed things up. He tapped the resources of rookie Courtney Lee, as well as the rest of the Magic bench.

And, they responded.

Big time.

Lee scored a career high 24 points, snatching a victory out of the all-too-familiar gaping jaws of defeat.

The final numbers on the scoreboard: Magic 96, 76'ers 87.

Next game in this now tied-up best of five series: Friday (4/24) at 8pm.

Go Magic!

Webster for Congress?

It's never too early to begin handicapping political races in this little corner of heaven.

And, some recent events have yours truly concluding that former state senate majority leader Dan Webster is getting ready to run for Congress.

Up until recently, conventional wisdom was that Orange County's mayor Rich Crotty would try to unseat the precariously perched Alan Grayson in the 8th congressional district that includes Orlando.

But, Crotty's got some problems stemming from his entanglements at the local expressway authority. Not only did he recently rush thru an unpopular toll hike, but a grand jury report released the very next day slammed him for strong-arm pay-to-play tactics. It concluded that Crotty had benefited from a "culture of corruption."

Now, flash forward to today's blue ribbon report released by Webster. In it, he calls for some pretty significant reforms at the expressway authority, including:

• Cutting the bloated and top-heavy payroll by $600,000.
• Leasing or selling the TWO current headquarters buildings. (That's right, up til now they felt justified in having not one but TWO headquarters . . .)
• Passing the savings along to everyone with an ePass transponder, not just the frequent users the authority has favored to this point.

What's not to like about this?

Finally, a Republican is talking about shrinking the size of government and reducing its burden on the general public. Perhaps, the party will not have to spend as long in the political wilderness as I feared it might.

I've liked Dan Webster for a long time, and really respected his endorsement of Mike Huckabee over John McCain et al in the party primary during the last presidential election cycle. If only more folks around here had been of a similar mind back then . . .

Anyway, you read it here first, ye socks. Webster's running for Congress. And, today he dealt a body blow to his primary rival.

Hope and change!

Well, ye socks, good news!

Barack Obama only let 1/16th of his term expire before he convened his first full cabinet meeting! That's right, "only" three months have elapsed since his glorious coronation . . . er . . . innauguration.

He's really hitting the ground running, isn't he?

But, the icing on the cake that was today's meeting of the minds was the executive order to cut $100 million out of the federal budget.

Can you imagine what a positive impact this 0.0025% cut in government spending is going to have on our economy?

Such thrift! Such fiscal discipline! Let's all shout it from the mountain tops!

Blue and White failed to ignite

After watching tonight's Game 1 of the first round play-off series between the Orlando Magic and the Philadelphia 76ers, all I can say is that we should be very thankful that this isn't a sudden death style tournament like the NCAA held last month.

That being said, the first half was AWESOME if you're a Magic fan. We had an 18 point lead when the hometown heroes trotted off the court.

I don't know what happened in the locker room, but they had ZERO intensity or focus when they came back for the second half.

They allowed their sub-par (41-41) opponent to come back and put a hurt on us, outscoring the Magic 35-19 in the 4th quarter--including a bullet-to-the-temple game winning basket by Andre Iguodale just before the buzzer.

I don't want to sound like the bitter fan I am, but this 100-98 humdrum just won't do.

The NBA play-offs are a time for INTENSITY! Witness what the Lakers did to Utah, and what the Cavs brought against the Pistons today. There was none of that level of professional athleticism to be found on the floor of Orlando's arena tonight.

Let's hope Van Gundy and crew can really light a fire under some of our players by Game 2 or this is going to get really ugly . . .

Kundun

Yep, still catching up on my DVD watching.

Today's feature is Martin Scorsese's biopic about the Dalai Lama: "Kundun."

It was released way back in 1997, and I just never got around to seeing it.

The amateur historian in me didn't like the way the timeline of the Chinese take-over of Tibet was compressed.

But, the film does have visual appeal . . . both in terms of the exotic costumes and the breathtaking landscapes. If Tibet is half as beautiful as ol' Marty portrays it, I look forwarding to visiting someday.

Bottom line: You can hit the mute button on this one and still enjoy it. Oh, and what's not to like about an anti-communist, pro-religion theme?!

The Dark Knight

Yours truly will not have to explain to true devotees of the dryer why it is that I waited until now to see the latest Batman movie.

Suffice it to say, I will forego the chills down the spine one gets from seeing visual effects like these on a big screen in order to avoid the sticky floors and boorish behavior generally found in movie theaters these days.

Maybe, I'm jaded to all of Hollywood's hi-tech arsenal. Or, maybe, I'm just a movie snob. Either way, that's not why I typically sit down to watch a movie. I want plot and characters and thought-provoking themes.

In those veins, The Dark Knight is not as complete a disappointment as I initially thought it might be. I mean, come on, most of these superhero action flicks aren't really known for meeting that sort of criteria.

While the plot was so-so, you cannot ask for a better character than the one delivered by Heath Ledger. His version of the Joker was so much deeper than the ones previously portrayed by Jack Nicholson and Mark Hamil. I began to wonder if HE was the title character!

The actual "dark knight" was barely more than two-dimensional. The gruff voice he assumed while in costume was comical at first, but eventually wore on my nerves. The only time that character was really worth watching was during his one-on-ones with the Joker.

Bottom line: definitely worth renting on DVD.

Let me know what YOU think!

Orlando Tea Party rehashed

Wow, I was really surprised to see the news of all the tea parties around the country yesterday.

I thought it was just a Central Florida phenomenon.

Nice to see ye socks beyond this little corner of heaven are as happy about all the taxing and spending going on in the ObamaNation.

Our little tea party in downtown Orlando had quite a turn-out.

In case you missed it, there was a whole lot more to see and appreciate thant cool t-shirts with cooler slogans.

I think my favorite was the dude who looked like Colonel Sanders and had a bunch of Tetley tea bags dangling from the brim of his hat . . .

Tax Day!

Yes, ye socks, it's that magical date on the calendar.

Once again, those of us who are fortunate enough to actually be earning wages or salaries are obliged to settle up with our friends over at the IRS.

I don't know why yours truly procrastinates so. With all the interest I'm paying on two mortgages, I quickly calculated a nice refund was due.

Anyway, I hope all of you out there in the blogosphere are finding similarly positive results if, like me, you waited til the last minute to work on your return.

And, remember what Oliver Wendell Holmes said if you have to write out a check instead, this is the price we have to pay to live in a polite society.

Polite?!?

It's been a long time since Mr. Holmes was in this society, no?!

RIP John Ault (1937-2009)

I was very sorry to learn this morning of the passing of John Ault.

Mr. Ault was not only the national vice president of my college fraternity out in Texas, but also the dad of my buddy Brad.

Those were some crazy times in Lubbock, and John had to come up from Houston to set the old Delta Mu of Beta Theta Pi straight on at least one occasion.

But, he knew how to have a good time, too. I will always have fond memories of taking him to Bash Riprock's, one of our favorite haunts. Believe it or not, he fit right in with all of us college kids!

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Aults during this difficult time. John surely leaves behind a legacy they may all be proud to call their own.

-kai-

Oh, how times have changed . . .

There was a time (not SO long ago) when the birthday of yours truly was celebrated in a much more Bohemian style.

But, today, the highlight was coming home to a nice, quiet house; putting my feet up on the Ottoman; eating a ham and Provolone "sammich"; and watching 24.

And, in between commercials, I began perusing my favorite birthday present, the book "The Next 100 Years," by George Friedman. Although I've just begun to delve into his prognostications, I am already enjoying it. He makes some pretty astute observations, and has already made me view some recent world events in a different light.

Ah, well, time for this old man to head off to bed . . . tomorrow promises leftover birthday cake for breakfast!!

Happy Easter!

A nice, quiet Saturday

Well, ye socks, I've really been enjoying this nice, quiet Saturday.

Probably because things have been a little off-kilter around this neck of the woods lately.

Now that the house guests have headed home, I have moved back downstairs and caught-up on those mundane little chores that I'd let slide for a week or so.

You know, laundry, yardwork . . . napping!

Weekends rock! Quiet weekends rock even more! (Wait a minute, that doesn't sound quite right, does it?!)

Happy Trails!

It's been so nice having my sister and her family come home to Orlando, even if only for one week.

Today, though, they hit the road on their way back up to South Carolina.

Safe journey, Simmons clan!

Come back soon and often, and try to avoid all the crazy holiday travelers on the interstate!

Spring has sprung!

I thought ye socks might get a kick out of this picture of my nephew, taken while walking around my neighborhood yesterday.

These lillies are sprouting up all over the place.

I think they're a sign that winter is finally drawing to a close, and that Easter is right around the corner.

Pretty soon, the little guy should be able to ditch the hoodie, no?!

The Magic Kingdom will never be the same

Not after these two mousketeers get a hold of it!

According to my spies, their parents are having a pretty good time, too.

Mom has ridden Space Mountain 7 times since the gates opened, and is back in line for another go-round.

And, Dad is riding the bumper cars at Test Track to hone his driving skills for the trip back up I-4.

Fun times in this little corner of heaven today . . .

I'm going back to Netflix

That's right, ye socks, I'm giving up my blockbuster.com account.

I have enjoyed their service for years, but lately they've been cutting the little things that gave them an edge over the competition.

The plan I *had* until this afternoon, would allow you to return the DVD's you got in the mail to the nearest store for exchange.

This was tremendously convenient, especially since my Blockbuster is within walking distance of my home.

Until just recently, upon aforementioned exchange of DVD's, blockbuster.com would automatically send out the next title(s) in my queue.

Not anymore!

They won't send anything out until you return the movies you check out of the store. This creates a lag time, an unnecessary lag time in my opinion. And, it makes them no better than Netflix.

So, doing the math, it makes sense to save the $3 extra I was paying for the convenience that isn't there anymore, and take my business to the competition.

Ain't the free market economy grand?!

Well, the portions of it that the hope-and-change drivelers haven't gotten a hold of (yet) are still pretty grand, anyway . . .

A day at the Disney Studios

I thought ye socks might get a kick out of this picture my brother-in-law took of the niblings today, using his handy-dandy new Blackberry.

They were visiting the Disney Studios, in case the background befuddled you and the title of this post escaped your attention.

I believe that's the fountain in that mock-up version of New York City they have on property.

A pretty photogenic pair, no?

A Dining Adventure

Today's little safari took us up I-4 a bit to the Altamonte Mall.

That's right, ye socks, yours truly actually stepped foot inside a mall. (Shudder.)

Surprisingly, despite a thriving food court full of the stereotypical variety of eateries, there is only one full-service establishment on the premises: Elephant Bar & Restaurant.

Ye native socks may remember the location from its previous incarnation as a Ruby Tuesday's, near the Barnes & Noble.

But, this place is far from Ruby Tuesday's with a pan-Asian menu and a jungle themed dining room.

Unfortunately, the only good thing I can say about this place is that the greeter and hostess were very nice and got us seated quickly. Our server, on the other hand, left much to be desired. Maybe, I was expecting too much on a Sunday afternoon . . .

Anyway, I ordered the sweet and sour chicken. But, as Linda Richman would have said on Coffee Talk, it was neither sweet nor sour: discuss!

The presentation was . . . interesting. It arrived with some peculiar dry stringy things sprinkled over the top, and a generous bowl of white rice on the side. Never did figure out what that stuff was on top, though.

The only remedy I could come up with was to douse this culinary disaster with some soy sauce. Of course, they didn't have any condiments beyond salt and pepper on the table, so I had to wait for the painfully slow waiter to bring it . . . and, then only after he gave me an annoyingly quizzical look.

Add to this the fact that we were given the best seats in the house, next to a window overlooking a bank of Pepsi machines. Oh, the parade of mall rats that were buying cold sodas this afternoon up in Altamonte!

Fortunately, I had some pretty interesting dining companions to ameliorate these annoyances.

The bottom line: unless dinner service is ten times faster than lunch, and you can get a seat with a better view, you might want to consider some other place. Maybe, even invest in a good wok and try stirring something up in your home kitchen?!

Trouble's still brewing in Pyong-yang

Not to be ignored, North Korea's communist madman Kim Jong-Il is doing his best to drag attention away from the ObamaNation's jaunt across the pond.

As I type this, he is poised to launch a missile capable of delivering a nuclear payload to targets in the western United States.

Fortunately for me, my keyboard is way over here on the east coast. But, I'm still perplexed by this goon, can't figure out what his motivation(s) might be.

Maybe he thinks enough bluster and irrational behavior will earn his regime one of those big bail-out packages that our enlightened legislators have been handing-out with wreckless abandon over the last few months?

Don't be surprised if you see some "Hope and change!" posters as Kim's soldiers goose-step thru their May Day celebrations next month.

And, maybe they can come up with some cool stylized posters bearing the images of THEIR illustrious leader?!

ObamaNation surrenders America's economic independence

While the "mainstream" media would have ye socks focusing on the glamour battle between the first ladies, the true focus should have been on what their husbands were doing.

It wasn't good. Well, not if you believe in American independence.

Our illustrious new leader surrendered a significant piece of our sovereignty in London yesterday. Henceforth, the components of our economic engine (including the SEC, the Commodities Trading Commission, and the Federal Reserve Board) will now be subject to the oversight and coordination efforts of a new international junta: The Financial Stability Board.

Why isn't that making the headlines?!

Instead of self-determination, we will let other people overseas tell us what we should do. I'm sure they'll act in our best interest. At least, I hope they will. After all, the US will only have 1 vote on the board. Despite the fact that our economy is three times larger than #2 Japan, our voice will have exactly the same weight. In fact, half of the seats on the board will belong to European nations where socialism reigns supreme.

If Obama wanted to give away that much of our sovereignty to Europe, why didn't he just petition for membership in the EU?!

This is an outrage, an affront to every freedom-loving American.

And, that should be the topic du jour, not what some would-be fashionista is wearing or who she is inappropriately touching.

Wizard of Oz?!

Today's feature in the DVD "catch-up" list was filmmaker Baz Luhrmann's "Australia."

I was really prepared to like this movie. I'm kind of a sucker for epic, historic tales. And, I'll watch just about anything with Nicole Kidman in it. (Well, except for Moulin Rouge, which was utter tripe and nonsense despite the critical acclaim.)

Unfortunately, Luhrmann's vision was too narrow.

Then again, it can't be easy to capture the character of an entire nation--nay, an entire continent--even if you do expend three hours of film in the attempt.

Instead, he did a bang-up job of depicting what it was like to live in the northwestern part of Australia (particularly in and around the port of Darwin) during the Second World War.

More annoying, he injected the theme song from "The Wizard of Oz" ad nauseum. ("Somewhere over the rainbow.")

The bottom line is this: The Crocodile Dundee movies have done a better job at characterizing the land down under for the rest of the world than the current offering.

And, that's just sad.

March 32nd!

Happy April Fools' Day, ye socks!

In preparation for this, one of my favorite days because of the shenanigans that generally ensue, I did a little research on the orgins of this semi-holiday.

Turns out there's not a simple answer.

There are TONS of theories about how all this foolery got started.

The earliest reference I was able to find was in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. If you've forgotten the lessons learned in Mrs. Duncan's classroom oh-so-many years ago, the nun tells of a foolish chanticleer and with tongue in cheek specifies it took place on March 32nd.

If you can do any better than that, I'd like to know! (No foolin'!)